Friday, June 29, 2007
so many things to say but yet so little words, so hard to express whatever's in me now.
i've chosen this path and yet i dunno if im doin the right thing. perhaps i shld just let him go and have his own happiness without me. but yet, it's so heart-wrenching to let go. and yet, this path i've chosen is equally heart-wrenching. though i've said i dont mind, i do. hell lot of it. my heart ached like mad for the whole day yesterday, and it hurts every second every day. thinking of this situation im in now. thinking of u...going out... tears warning to spill any second if i dun try hard enough to control. and finally it all came out at night. but somehow, it isnt gonna end just there. it's gonna last till the day i finally accept things the way they are and get used to it, or mayb, learn to love myself more.
i love u once, i love u twice, i love u many times more than u can ever imagine. more than this journey. and yet... this love u have for me is now splitted, shared, equal? i dun think so. i dun dare to ask questions for fear i may not be able to take the answers that come. i dunno what im doin. im so miserable. yet, i cant imagine how life would be without u. i cant let go. and that's why it hurts. like every second the knife in my heart just turns a little, the blood dripping internally. so much pain, so much love. all at one time. im so afraid. afraid of what might come.
im sick of this life i lead. i feel so much like turning time back. sadly, there's no such thing in the world. i told someone ydae, that i feel like just dying and reborn into something else and make my life better. but yet, i lack that courage, and i'll never die because i know, i still have u. or at least, a part of u.
11:16 AM
credits
Layout:
x
Brushes: x
o
x
Fonts: x